You know, having thought about the whole quandry for at least an hour now, I've come to the rather definitive conclusion that the theory of a loving God is completely negated by the presence here on planet Earth of not only one, by dozens of species of Assassin spider. I mean, there is just no way. No way that someone who loves us as much as this new "Western religion" wants us to believe the Lord does could foist upon us such ungodly terrors as A______ s_____. Old Testament God? That mean ol' drunk-daddy-on-one-hell-of-a-binge God? Perhaps. Church of England God? Lutheran God? Reform Judaism God? No way.
Now, I know what some of my more religious (and/or rational) friends might be thinking. "But Becky, without some miseries in life, we never learn to appreciate our happiness. And besides, you hate spiders, and A_____ s_____s exist solely to eat other arachnids. They're not a horrific manifestation of pure evil, they're actually doing you some good!"
To these poor folks, obviously so hellaciously frightened by the overwhelming logic of my argument and their resulting new atheistic convictions that they've slipped into some kind of trance-like denial, I can say only this: "spit on that!"
First of all, I was much happier before I learned about the existence of the arachnoid Ubermensch (therefore debunking the idea that I need knowledge of misery in order to appreciate my satiated state). Secondly, there are plenty of things in life that combat evil through the use of...evil. A-Bombs, for one. I mean, Asian Nazis are bad, but smoldering radioactive craters, mutilated masses, and atomic "shadows" are arguably worse. A_____ s_____s might eat spiders, but that doesn't make them "good." If your average little jumping wall spider bottoms out as Lucifer 1.0, I'd venture to say that the A______ s_____ rises to AntiChrist XP. With Intel Celeron processing.
Thus, no God. Digest this sad truth any way you like, but please understand: it is very real. Remember---A______ s_____s really exist, and they're not likely to disappear while we sleep the way they would if divine mercy and heavenly grace were actualities.
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Hah! Yes, A______ s______ are evidence of the problem of evil in action. And to those who would argue that evils such as the A______ s______ are a part of God's divine plan, you could also respond that no all-good God could allow for such a monstrosity. Couldn't an all-perfect God create a universe in which A______ s_______ do not exist? Or couldn't such a God create a world in which the aforementioned A_______ s______ exist alongside humans in peace and friendship? I concur that all available evidence points to a) a different kind of God (the God who condones and, ostensibly, adores her A_______ s_______ children), or b) no God.
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