I was working today on my latest story, this weird piece about a man who escapes from fears of being a good husband/father/provider by way of pornographic dreams. The dreams become more and more graphic and disturbing and eventually overtake him. Reality blends with "fantasy" and he can no longer function. Makes some sense, right?
Only thing is, I have to write so much sick sex for this. At first it was was a little unnerving but sort of fun. But now it's just frightening. There is some porn on the internet that makes me want to go upstairs and eat lunch just so I'll have something to throw up when I look at it, and won't get dry heaves. Man, I will never be able to write that shit down. This story is going to be so, so tame compared to some of what I (wish I never) saw. I am so over any and all research for this story. I just no longer give a flying you-know whether it's realistic or not.
God. The world is FUCKED UP.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
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2 comments:
Two things.
1. Congrats on the waitlist, sweetie -- I might as well just toss the comment in here & save myself that much more trouble.
2. I LOVE the premise of your story. I walked into a Lebanese/Arabic-owned butcher shop today and it hit me that my next story is going to take place in such a place. Keep going with your premise, especially since it sounds like it takes Walter Mitty to deliciously twisted new highs...it might be frightening, but hell, good writing hurts when you do it.
Stay away from the dolphin sex pages. There are some parts of the interweb best left unexplored.
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